With Pride month right around the corner, I’ve been reflecting on the past year I’ve been out. I’ve lost some close friends & family members, I’ve had all the typical hate and discrimination thrown at me by total strangers, I’ve had a lot of times where I just wanted to go back to hiding myself. But I’ve actually gotten to a place where there is no going back. I don’t want to go back. It’s just as miserable to hide yourself as it is to deal with bigots. How have I gotten through this and to the point I am today? The answer is easy: a support system. The close friends & family I have that are loud about their love for me carry me through the days. Some of the most important people in my life are the real & true allies. I have a few in particular who have never wavered in their support for me over the past year. I feel safe with them. And this is one of my favorite loud & clear messages I’ve received from them: be you, do what you gotta do, we have your back.
me one year ago: agender? what's that, that sounds like me. but I'm not non-binary. me a few days later: maybe I'm non-binary, but I'm not transgender. me within a few months: okay, I'm transgender, but I'll probably never get chest surgery or go on testosterone. present me: .... I'm 36 and spent 35 years of my life tirelessly trying to fit into the straight cis cube. That's not what shape I am (or want to be) or can be, so I never fit right. The acceptance that I never will, and don't have to, was the most freeing feeling ever. I now go by Brax and my pronouns are they/them. Brax comes from the name my parents wanted to name me if I was assigned male at birth. Braxton because of all the false contractions (Braxton hicks) I tormented my poor mother with. This is the piece of information about me I chose to start with because I feel like its an important part of my identity right now. I know its not the only important or interesting thing about me, ...
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